Drugged Up & Bloody

Just got back from being stabbed with needles. Always a good time.

I had to fast for 12 hours beforehand (more like 15 because I wasn’t hungry last night and I really regretted that this morning!) and I came within an hour of fucking it up because my QA manager refilled her candy dish and I AM WEAK. Luckily, I remembered that I was fasting before I swallowed and I was able to spit (hurr hurr) into a nearby trash receptacle. Je suis Le Sex. Oui.

My doctor-doctor wants to turn over the medication administration to the head doctor, so I’m still at 75 mg of Lamictal for now. My next appointment with the shrink is May 16. I figure I should be able to hang on until then. I’m not sure how much a difference the extra 25mg will make as far as inducing stability goes, but I am really tired of the yo-yo effect. 2 weeks. 2 weeks. 2 weeks. I can wait 2 weeks.

The Concerta is working really well for me. My focus has improved by orders of magnitude and it’s helped ease a lot of the short term memory issues as well. I’m not heaving giant sighs of relief and letting down my guard just yet, I am still wielding my notebook like a shield against the world and that’s not going to change for a good, long while. if ever.

But even at my best, organization isn’t always my thing and it is kind of nice not having to try to keep everything in my head. Writing things down works. Who knew?

Hawks didn’t play last night, so I dicked around with some art and caught the highlights. The Canucks got smoked by San Jose and I find that schadenlightful because my boss is a Canucks fan. I feel conflicted cheering for the Sharks because on one hand: NOT VANCOUVER but on the other: RAFFI TORRES. I hate that guy. He’s everything wrong with the game. There’s physical players – making hits and playing defensively, protecting their zone and the puck, and then there’s malicious head hunters who are actively trying to do damage. Guess which one he is? I hated him when he played for the Oilers, I hated him last year in Phoenix when he took out Hossa, and I hate seeing his name on the same roster as Adam Burish (former Hawk. Shut up).

But, but, but — I may have to cheer for San Jose, regardless of the Torres factor because of this:

I know nothing about this guy except for the fact that he can grow the MOST MAJESTIC playoff beard of all time. Look at that thing! He can totally pack snacks and small forest creatures in the scruff (maybe small forest creatures as snacks? IDK, he doesn’t seem like an Ozzy…). I bet you he’ll propose to his future wife by stashing the ring box in his beard! She’ll never find it. It’s both useful and vaguely terrifying. You gotta respect the beard. Go Sharks ;)

Today’s Toews Face, from Tuesday’s game against the Wild:

This is the face of a Champion.


About braineatsbrain

Recently diagnosed with bipolar. Twice. This is where I'm going to try to make sense of that. Expect introspection, unfocused anger, and random art.
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15 Responses to Drugged Up & Bloody

  1. oh you are funny-funny!! I must follow-follow!

  2. Yay, notebooks.

    I have just remembered that I finally settled on a 75 one day, 100 the next cycle of lamictal that was the “right” dose, because that extra 12.5 mg every day made me manic, but 12.5 too little made me cranky and weepy sometimes. IDK. Food for thought?

    And yay, notebooks.

    That beard. I want to feed that person an endless breakfast, because there would be gratifying MMMMMRRRRRPHHHH noises coming from him and bacon bits stuck in the beard. : )

    • Yay notebooks indeed! Mine’s a boring old Hilroy spiral bound, but it’s jam packed with notes (and doodles.. SO MANY OTTERS) and it does the job :)

      I’ll have to talk with pdoc about shuffling around the dosages, though i think going straight 100mg at first will probably be the way to go. It’s a good drug, I like this drug – the side effects are mostly going away (with a boost by the legal speed ;) ) and my new lows are not my low-lows so I really want this to work, dammit!

      OMG – the beard. That glorious, glorious beard. For the most part, I’m pretty happy being female identified (minus the periods. I hate my period) but sometimes i feel like we were robbed of the ability to grow majestic facial hair. I’ve tried to make up for it by refusing to shave my legs, but it’s just not the same ;)

      If we lived in a fantasy world, I would want to be a dwarf :D

  3. Raeyn says:

    I approve of random beard.

    • How could you not? It’s a thing of GLORY.

      • Raeyn says:

        It truly is. I’m not even generally a fan of beards (exception: husband. It suits him), but that is too marvellous to ignore. <3

      • I’ve had a thing for beards since Jonathan Frakes in TNG, and while I usually prefer close cropped and well groomed (or artistic stubble a la Tyler Hoechlin… rawr) there’s something to be said for a robust, full on mountain man beard :D
        (TBH, it doesn’t really do anything for me as far as finding men attractive, i really just want to run my fingers through it and squish their cheeks XD)

      • Raeyn says:

        Mmm, Riker. We’ll be starting our TNG rewatch soonish, and that will be good ogling. Even if that’s totally not my type, ha ha — Art school, baby!

      • <3 Witty, funny, great writer, AND a Star Trek fan? I knew I liked you :D

      • Raeyn says:

        Daww, allow me to go blush in a corner. <3

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